Anxious overthinking is horrible, right? When you get caught in those loops where you're just thinking about one single event, a relationship, our self, our future over and over. Maybe you get caught up analyzing something that happened, regretting an action you took, or worrying about the future of something or a decision. Sometimes it feels like the thoughts will never go away as that typhoon of thoughts gets bigger and bigger assuming more potential devastating outcomes.
Hang in there… The more you practice skills to manage your anxious overthinking, the less it will overwhelm you. So here are five unique ways to manage it. There are plenty of others but I find myself sharing these novel ones with clients frequently. I don’t take credit for these as they have been adapted from various schools of psychology.
1) Take a Dive
There’s something we have in our body called the ‘mammalian dive reflex’. In short, this reflex optimises our breathing and our body to cope in underwater situations for as long as possible in order to survive. This process is known as a ‘vagal maneuverer’ – (Google this up if you’re interested in biology specifics). What is important to know is that our breathing relaxes and our heartrate slows by 10-25%. By easing up on our heart and lungs our brain is informed that there is less to stress about and the worrying eases.
So, next time you’re overthinking jump in the pool and do some underwater laps. If you don’t have access to a pool or the ocean, then a bowl of water deep enough to dunk in your face up to your ears will do the trick. Oh, and the colder the water the quicker this will work so throw some ice in for good measure.
2) “But if I stop thinking, x y and z will happen…”
Ever notice yourself saying something like this when you're caught in an endless cycle of worry.
Now, I can’t say that x, y, or z will or won’t happen but a lot of the time, our overthinking won’t make squat of a difference to it.
Overthinking often happens when we are unwilling to commit to an outcome and this is something we can do something about. There is a mantra from Alcoholics Anonymous that can be helpful to remind yourself of when faced with this conundrum.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Essentially, categorise your thinking into things that are within your control and outside of your control (write a list on two pieces of paper if need be). Now go through the list of things within your control and do something practical about each of them. Don’t just think about it, do it. Schedule a time to do these if you can’t do them right now. Then let yourself know that you have done everything that you possibly can in this moment to address each of these.
With the list of things that are out of your control, go to 3.
3) Burn it, bury it, or put it in a box.
Ah the list of things outside of our control. These are always the worst but unfortunately the things we love to overthink and worry about the most. I’d love to tell you to simply take a note out of Frozen and Let It Go but you’re probably sick of people telling you this so here are some other options;
ü Burn the list (safely please). Notice how you feel after. Write it again and burn it again if you need to.
ü Bury the list. It’s paper, it will decompose.
ü Put it in a box. I can’t remember where I first heard this idea but it’s so silly it gives great perspective to worry. Put your worry list in a box and allocate a set period of time (e.g. 30 minutes) at some time during the day. Then during that time (and that time only) you worry the hell out of that thought. You go for it. This is your worrying ability’s time to shine! Then go to 1,2,4, or 5.
4) Run with your thoughts – don’t let them run away with you
Intense exercise induces a creation of excitable neurons in areas of the brain associated with anxiety. From this you would think that exercise would make anxiety worse, right? But this seems to not be the case. Instead, research shows us that these new baby overexcitable neurons that are created also contain high levels of GABA - a neurotransmitter which inhibits the neurons from firing (many anti-anxiety medications are designed to replicate this same calming effect).
So, the next time you are stuck for hours picking apart everything you said awkwardly in last night’s date, go for a run... Fast…
If running isn’t your thing, some hard swimming or some Bikram yoga or jumping in and out of waves for about 30 minutes should do it.
5) Talk to someone, just someone
It is invariably a commonly held belief of the psychological profession that sharing your troubles with someone is beneficial. For the most part, this is true.
However, if you are an overthinker, in attempting to gain as much information as possible to reduce uncertainty, you may find yourself seeking advice or sharing your doubts with many people. This is not necessarily helpful. There is a point at which gaining details and information and opinions on your issue will only overcrowd your already overthinking brain and will not add value. After this point, other’s input will only complicate things and waste time. Uncertainty is a normal aspect of life and something to be accepted. Speak with one or two people and if the overthinking persists go back to 1, 2, 3 or 4.
On a final note, caffeine and tobacco are likely to be counterproductive to overthinking as they are stimulants to your brain and make it alert to more possible scenarios rather than less. Alcohol, whilst in the short term may help dull your overthinking thoughts, has been demonstrated to make it worse as it is wearing off or the next day (you may experience this as waking up in the middle of the night with overwhelming thoughts).
Good luck and may peace be with your thoughts.
